Making Space

As human beings we tend to have the habit of accumulating a lot of stuff throughout our lives.

Some of this stuff is physically tangible, while to me it seems that the things we collect the most of are emotions, thoughts, habits, and opinions.

What I am interested sharing today is more of the latter but of course there are physical manifestations in this entry that directly correlate to the existential subject matter I am discussing.

Since I was 14 years old I have had a habit in my life, at the time I acquired it and most of the duration of its existence, this habit served a great purpose in my life. What I am speaking of is the habitual abuse of cannabis, something that I considered an actual part of my being. I truly believe that cannabis has some great properties and can definitely be used to server a higher purpose. (Get it? Sorry I can’t resist bad jokes.) But in my situation it was limiting my ability to grow.

With that being said I can honestly say this habit was no longer serving its purpose in my life. I stumbled upon this revelation a couple of years ago, regrettably at the time I was utterly convinced that smoking was a part of who I was and I was afraid of what would happen if wasn’t a part of my life. For so many years I had been known for my easy-going attitude, laid back personality and always having the munchies. What I started to believe was that cannabis was responsible for these attributes, while the part about the munchies was partially accurate I found that all the other things about myself were actually just being accentuated through my habit. After looking into it deeper I could say I was probably attracted to cannabis mainly because of those parts of my being.

Then one day I was talking with, a very intelligent and thoughtful soul, we’ll call him Billy Joe(he would hate me for calling him this). He and I were discussing how our use of this substance especially for such an extended period of time had led people to start defining us by our use of the substance. Neither of us were comfortable with this idea as, we both knew that we were so much than just the plant that we were smoking. After a couple of days of reflecting I decided to join Billy Joe on his journey to redefine our social identities.

At first the idea was very romantic, then I got sick so it became very practical. After recovering from my illness I realized that I had already created a new habit so it was up to me to reinforce it. I must admit though this was still challenging as pretty much every person in my life was there because we had shared at least the common thread of cannabis. So when you brain is trained to salivate at the sight and smell of it then you must resist your Pavlovian  reactions and practice something that is rarely taught in America, self-restraint.

What I found after a couple of weeks of going without it was absolutely astounding. I was still very laid back and easy-going without it and eventually I started getting really hungry again. But beyond that I found that my perspective had started to change as if I had removed a pair of sunglasses to finally see the amazing colors that only true light can reveal.

Then it happened, I was pulling into the grocery store parking lot and noticed a beautiful young lady who was talking with her son as she was loading groceries into the car. As I grabbed my grocery bags out of my car I could not take my eyes off them, I was completely captivated. I continue on towards the entrance of the store but as I am walking by her car I can tell that something is amiss. Why is she looking in her car window?

I proceed to ask,”Did you lock your keys in your car?” She looked at me with such a multitude of emotions, I could not help but feed into my white knight complex and help her. After talking to them both I was determined to make sure this situation was rectified. Not to mention she was pretty cute and her son was absolutely adorable.

I proceeded to let her use my phone to call for someone to come pop the lock, and then asked them to join me as I picked up some groceries, while we waited for their arrival. As we talked there were so many “coincidences” between us that I would have to be blind to not see what had happened. I was searching for this and lo and behold it was provided.

Once I got home I started to reflect upon this whole occurrence. Then I realized that if I had been smoking still i would have been in too much of a hurry to get home in order to feed my habit I wouldn’t have taken the time to help her most likely. Since my removal of this habit I had found that my time was much more free so a minor delay or alteration in my path was actually very much appreciated.

Let me leave you with a thought from my perspective, or perhaps more of just a question. Can you say that all the emotions, thoughts, habits, and opinions you accumulated are truly serving a greater good in your life? The only person that can answer this is you of course, but let me help with the thought process a little. Take a look at some of your habits and ask a simple question does this add value or detract value from my life. Now the meaning of value is very subjective so I wont spend too much time on it, but to me it meant whether or not those emotions, thoughts, habits, and opinions were helping me make this world a better place.

Thanks for sticking around and know that I LOVE YOU.


About sardeneaux

Raised as a preacher's kid for most of his adolescence, Sam is a young man who has come value LOVE and AUTHENTICITY more than anything else. Through the creation of MoreThanGold he hopes to provide a space for personal growth that will inspire others to remember their true worth.

Posted on August 13, 2013, in Journal, Love, Meditation, Reflections, Sam and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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