LOVE – A Word that Falls Short – Pt 1
Today I want to write about something that really defines me as a person, LOVE. Most likely because I have recently been intoxicated by the hormones my body seems to be in full production of.
As this subject is one of great value to me I will be writing this subject in installments over the next few weeks that way I can keep a little variety to my content. Hopefully by the end of these entries you will understand why I think that the word LOVE does not do justice to the wide gambit of emotions that we are trying to express through its use.
When I was a younger man than I am today my father and I discussed the topic of LOVE.
He said to me, ” Samuel there are three kinds of LOVE in this world, Philia, Eros and Agape. The first being Philia which is a LOVE between friends which is why Philadelphia is called the City of Brotherly LOVE. The second is Eros which is most commonly described as erotic LOVE between a man and woman. The last being the most the powerful of all is Agape, this is an unconditional infinite LOVE that can be closely related to the LOVE of a parent for their child or between a husband and wife.”
I was maybe all of 17 at the time we had this discussion so honestly I had opinions about this but no true understanding.
At the time I was romantically involved with a LOVEly young soul (Eros) but of course at that age all LOVE can be mistaken for something more than we can even comprehend. (Agape) We proceeded to move in to a small two bedroom apartment that we shared with someone who I LOVEd as a brother (Philia). Our house was filled with so many good times and memories that I would never change a thing about it, despite the how disgustingly dirty it was most of the time or the fact that we really didn’t have much as far as material wealth.
A year passed and our hard living caught up with us, my relationship was falling apart and my brother had decided to move on to a new chapter in his life. I tell you at first my heart broke this was just too much at once. But that expression of having to live in the dark to appreciate the light was never more true to me than in this time of my life. I was alone in an abandoned party house that was started with LOVE and ended with empty confusion not to mention a terrible mess.
My heart was so heavy and I felt like I was watching the world crumble around me, I had to clean my current apartment, needed to move to a new one and let’s be honest my hard living lifestyle really left my budgeting skills wanting. The few nights I spent alone there were filled with tears and screams like a child throwing a temper tantrum.
My father, who I had rejected and avoided, paid me a visit. By this point I was coming to terms with how miserably I was handling my own life but even then I was still too proud to ask him for any help. We went out to eat and if I could see myself through his eyes then I bet his heart hurt so much just from the pain I was wearing all over my face. As he goes to drop me off at my shanty of shame, he reaches into his glove box and hands me a card. Then says, “Your brother and sister wanted to see you and said they LOVE you very much,” Proceeds to give me hug and kiss then leaves as he could tell I was having a hard time not crying in front of him.
I go into my dingy little dwelling then proceeded to sit on my uncomfortable patio furniture we kept in the living room. I sat down and opened the card, out fell a check for a couple hundred dollars I’m not really sure how much any more but it was exactly enough to cover my current financial concerns, with a little to spare for some food. At this moment my eyes were so filled with tears that I could not even read the short message they had written me. After a few minutes of sloppy sobbing I read the card which was a message along the lines of ,”We know you probably need this because of the things that are going on in your life, we just wanted to let you know you are not alone and we LOVE you dearly”
This gesture had a profoundly deep impact on me, my family who I had attempted to disown, reached out to me and supplied my first lesson into the strongest form of LOVE.(Agape) Eventually I gathered myself after a half hour of intense emotion, return to cleaning my disgusting apartment and make a solemn vow to never put my family second to anyone else in my life again.
At the end of this chapter I want to leave you with a thought for your day or night wherever you might be. When you go to say to someone, that you LOVE them make sure you have clearly defined for yourself what kind of LOVE you are trying to portray and do not be afraid to question yourself because in the process you will make it easier to remove any expectations from the relationship so you can truly reflect that LOVE.
THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU,
Below I have provided some great links to this subject from a few different perspectives of history, science and philosophy. I hope you LOVE reading these as much as I did.
http://www.jumpbackhoney.com/?page_id=318 ( The last two paragraphs relate to this subject)
Posted on August 27, 2013, in Journal, Love, Reflections, Sam and tagged Appreciation, Authenticity, Clarity, Compassion, Empathy, Evolution, Existentialism, Life, Merit, Perception, Revelation, Self, Sincerity, Soul, Spiritual, Truth, Value, Wisdom. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.