Category Archives: Wellness
The condition of good physical and mental health, especially when maintained by proper diet, exercise, and habits.
A Beast Run Rampant
Negligence, a fitting theme for my first blog post in a long time.
Looking at some of my previous posts I must warn that this one may not be quite so inspiring or motivational, but perhaps through my process of personal admittance you can find some solace in knowing that all humans have room to grow.
As of late my life has been swept up in the constant stimulation and sensory overload that is known for it’s vice like grip on modern society. With brief windows of clarity that seem to be serving as a way for my soul to take a breath while I unconsciously try to drown out my feelings. Truth be told those feelings are not the real problem, and I know this, they are just a symptom.
Why I am running from them?
The short answer is fear, we all have feelings in our life that occasionally bring out parts of our character we would like to believe don’t exist. Once we encounter these feelings we come to question our own integrity, sadly looking at our feelings as they were to be perceived by others around us and then reacting in shame. This faulty logic leads us to ignore the emotional road signs our true self is trying to provide in hopes of helping us correct the root cause of the feeling. Thus we continuously neglect our emotional well being, slowly numbing it out through acts of sensory stimulation that provide a short term feel good in place of a long term remedy we need.
Through this process we slowly sever our ties with our eternal source of joy and peace, and gradually transform into the walking dead, nothing more than zombies stumbling through life attempting to find sustenance from hollow corpses of temporary stimulation. This negligence creates an unquenchable thirst within us one that can only be slaked with a drink from direct connection with self, but the bitter taste of emotion hides the sweet water of understanding.
I would like to believe this is something most people experience in life, although I do also acknowledge that not every does. If you are like me and happen to be reading this at one of those breathing moments in life please know you are not alone, this thing called life is a shared experience. For this fact I am grateful, because being alone with your problems is possibly the worst thing that could happen, it never fails that when I sit alone with my “problems” my brain is not nearly as interested in resolving the cause of my feelings as it is in creating nifty tricks on how to avoid that feeling altogether. I guess I am fortunate enough to have a strong body mind and soul connection that eventually what I try to avoid in my head will slowly manifest itself in my body and of course physical pain can be a strong motivator.
I’m not sure I have a happy ending for this post, to be honest some times you have to face the ugly truth and allow those unpleasant feelings to exist, yes it can be scary but once you have the courage to feel those emotions you’ll find that your heart is trying to tell you something it considers very important for your overall well being in life. One bit of advice is don’t face those feelings alone reach out to family, friends or appropriate support groups/professionals. Just because you want to face those feelings doesn’t mean you have to let them beat you down, the people in your life are there for reason, not because they think you are some amazing super hero but because they appreciate you for the human you are and love you all the same.
Remember you are not alone and of course your are worth More Than Gold.
Thank you and I Love You,
I wanted to keep with the trend for the video I posted today so I thought I could use this time to share how GENEROSITY has helped me and give y’all some articles to research if you are interested in the science behind this new practice in SELF-WELLNESS.
For this entry I am going to ask you to do some time travelling with me.
Let’s step back a little over a decade and a half…… watch your step my teens were quite the slippery slope.
There I lay in the doctor’s office again. Plain colored walls with pictures of some unfortunate people who seem to have been cut in half with their insides all exposed for the world to see. Yes you are correct I did say again as it was a pretty frequent thing for me during those years. My thoughts are racing and the silence of the sterile room sounds like nails on a chalkboard to a young mind that wants to desperately to not feel or think.
The door makes a noise, oh thank god something other than my own thoughts, in walks a doctor I can’t remember too much about the fellow honestly but I do remember he was a middle-aged Caucasian slightly over weight pretty much your stereotypical doctor in a small Texas town. Now that I look at it that may be just what my mind has decided to remember about this character he may actually be nothing of that sort, either way if you can’t tell that is not the focus of this story.
I am asked, “Abdominal PAINs huh? I remember your older brother came through here a couple of years ago with a similar issue.” He was definitely right a few years prior my brother had been diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. Since then my family had been growing through some growing PAINs that were testing us all. He calls in a nurse who has a strange apparatus in tow that I soon find out is an ultrasound.
What is this foolishness I’m not pregnant?
They ask me to lay on my back and pull up my shirt then proceed to apply some incredibly cold gel to my abdomen, then I hear it……. my stomach growls, I’m hungry. What did you think I was pregnant? As interesting as that would be, thankfully I was not because just being pregnant at 10 would have been tough but also being a the first male pregnancy of that age would probably have been too much for me to cope with. For the next 20 minutes or so they press their instrument down deeply on my stomach, I was just waiting for a beep from some sort of UPC since the tool seemed to look like what the people at the grocery store used.
The doctor finishes scanning my insides and notices nothing of importance then proceeds to say, “This is most likely a case of IBS.” From that point on I spent the following years attempting to make myself forget the PAIN with many various vices all interchangeable by age and available money.
Reflecting on that time in my life I can admit most of it was probably psycho-systemic. Around that age my parents were getting divorced and with my brother being genuinely sick I wasn’t getting as much attention as I really desired. This is meant to be a pity party but just a genuine insight into my own thought process and how powerfully destructive it was on my life.
I’m not going to spend my time discussing escapism today that is an article for another time. What I will say though is that after years of burying that junk deep down inside me it had started eating away at my insides again and there was no amount or quality of cannabis that could save me from my repressed emotions.
Ready to do some more time travel? Trust me the parts we are skipping would only detract from the point of this entry.
Fast forward about a dozen plus years I’m 24 years old and the intensity of the PAIN in my stomach had me spending nights on the bathroom floor, to wake up in the morning with a mixed feeling of nausea and constipation that would bring tears to my eyes. Realistically I am a bit of a wimp so it’s possible I have a very low PAIN threshold.
Eventually the human spirit can only take so much and around that time my body was telling me that certain habits I had were not serving a purpose in my life so I started changing them to see what relief I could find. I was doing yoga, eating a special kind of diet, and even listening to self-help books on audio. Though all of these were improvements in my life style and helped me reach a point of sanity they were not really doing much for the PAIN. Of course I never let my family know this because I really didn’t want them to worry or keep bugging me.
Then it happened a couple of months ago I started looking back into my past to think of times when my PAIN in my stomach was not so constant. The most consistent times were in times of sincere GENEROSITY. Of course I am no doctor probably about the exact opposite of that but I was willing to try being more generous because it appealed to the romantic idealist in me and it might just alleviate some of this discomfort. After just practicing for a couple of months I can tell you my energy level is through the roof, my desire to smoke cannabis is almost non-existent (I did say almost) and my stomach PAINs are very few and far between.
So let me make a simple suggestion, try performing at least one deed of GENEROSITY a week, try this for at least three weeks. Something tells me you might want to start doing it more often than once a week and when the flood gates open you will really start seeing the HEALTH effects and then you can thank me for making you into a GENEROSITY JUNKIE.
Glad you stuck around
THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU
Fear is it necessary?
This question can be answered in many different ways but today I hope to expose to you how our constant lifestyle of fear based survival can be a major cause of our health issues in developed societies.
By all means I’m not saying we shouldn’t take caution or thoughtfully consider risk when taking chances. What I am talking about is a much deeper rooted fear, the survival mechanism that got our species through hard times in the past.
As humans we honestly only have a few basic needs namely, what will I eat? Where will I be able to sleep without concern of danger? How will I protect myself from the elements?
To others this may be an over simplification but I promise these are the most common questions of people long before the creation of most of our modern burdens and oddly enough these thoughts still dictate our actions today. Of course the wording may be a little different now like: How will I pay for groceries? Where can I afford to live? What kind of clothes fit my budget?
I understand these question completely and occasionally find myself in a place where I get trapped in this ancient thought process as well. But then I think about it for a minute, and I realize that our planet has so much ABUNDANCE that we actually have statistics of people dying from food falling out of trees above them. Then an even deeper, more sickening thought creeps into my mind, there are people in the world whose natural resources have been so corrupted that these thoughts should hold a lot more gravity to them, but they seem to enjoy life just as much if not more than me sometimes. At that point I get a little sick and realize that my constant fear is actually a lack of GRATITUDE for the varied ABUNDANCE our existence is reminding us of everyday.
How does this relate to fear you say?
It’s quite simple, we are constantly searching for a means of survival and putting off our desires and ambitions due to the illusion of lack that stems from our fears of inadequacy.
But what does this mean?
To me it means that we as a species are stuck in a survival mode that keeps our body in an alert and excited state in order to preserve our existence.
Let me tell you some of the things that our body does when it perceives threat:
- heart rate and blood pressure increase
- Pupils dilate to take in as much light as possible
- Veins in skin constrict to send more blood to major muscle groups (responsible for the “chill” sometimes associated with fear — less blood in the skin to keep it warm)
- nonessential systems (like digestion and immune system) shut down to allow more energy for emergency functions
- Trouble focusing on small tasks (brain is directed to focus only on big picture in order to determine where threat is coming from.
Now I am not a doctor or scientist but just from looking at these basic descriptions I think it’s pretty obvious for us to connect the dots on what kind of effects these can have on the human body when sustained for too long. There are other effects of being in fight or flight mode but in order to allow you to do your own research I have provided some links below about the fear process.
Let me wrap this up with some of my perspective. Perhaps we should embrace the ABUNDANCE of life through FAITH instead of fear even if for the simple reason of wanting to be healthy so we can ENJOY this amazing GIFT called life.
THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU and remember you are WORTH MORE THAN GOLD.