A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
Rebuilding the Foundation
Awfully quiet around here lately……….
I wish I had some amazing adventure that I could say was distracting me, honestly speaking that is not the case.
I must admit I have been avoiding my blog.
Funny thing about running from your problems is that you carry them with you, so when its all said and done you still have those problems and now you are tired.
Well I am tired, worn down, and this emotional exhaustion has even manifested itself into a physical illness within my body.
When I think of the original intent of my blog it was clearly defined as a positive resource for authentic human experience. Designed as a space for others to share their personal insights and anything that they thought would add value to other’s lives.
I had invited quite a few people to join me in this journey, as I decided to traverse the human spirit and redefine worth. It was received with much enthusiasm and initially a few people took me up on the offer. Then over time it became a new a individual creative outlet, one that allowed me to delve into the creative side of my mind with a new medium.
Was I disappointed? A little.
But not for anything other than my ego based sense of rejection saying that I had not done a good enough job.
Now I know that there is quite a bit of error in that thought process as someone else’s desire to participate in my personal journey is not a reflection of anything other than their desire to travel their own path.
What does this have to do with humility?
Well this blog was just one of many things that had “gone wrong” in my life over that last year or so.
I would prefer to not list all of my recent errors but lets just say that if one must fail in order to succeed then I should be well on my way to success lol.
“Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.”
Perhaps my life was under serious reconstruction and I needed to set a new foundation of humility for my life to build upon. Or am I just a fool hearty youngster whose desire to comprehend the vast greatness of life was expressed through a series of brash decisions? Probably a bit of both.
Regardless the answer here I am, tired, sick and humbled.
Strange enough I am no longer afraid, nor am I bitter, because I know now that my heart is in control as my brain seems to have admitted it has not the ability to “fix” the current situation of my life and only through my sincere humility can I scrape the pieces of my life back together to start rebuilding.
The old expression of practice what you preach is ringing so loudly in my ears that I’ll be deaf to the voice of my ego for an indeterminable duration.
Have I learned my lesson? Not completely for if I did I would no longer need to live in this plane of existence.
So what did I learn?
A bunch of different things, to start I learned that personal desire does not constitute absolute reality, and trying to interpret the divine essence of life through the limited practice of risk taking can really leave one wanting.
Along with those lessons I also learned that because I am good at something does not mean I have to do it nor is it good for me. Judgement is not limited to negative perceptions of others it can include making positive assumptions as well.
Most importantly I learned that despite how much I consciously or unconsciously destroy my life I am always loved.
This is the most humbling thought of all, for all your false senses of security or ego based concepts of independence we all fall down some of us flat on our faces. The only thing that we can do is ask for help and get back to doing what we feel is correct.
So I decided to start here, if only for the sake of clearing the air, a sort of spring cleaning for my soul.
Now don’t worry some of this may sound negative and yes even people like me experience self inflicted pain, but I feel that this is a great way to start the healing process. I mean really what better way to continue the journey into authenticity then by revealing my own humanity to a bunch of “strangers”.
So take what you want from this entry and share it with others if you feel it resonates with you personally. I want to thank you for taking the time to read it, if there is anything you would like to hear my opinion on shoot me an email or just comment on this entry I would love to hear from you.
For now I will leave you with a question to ponder.
If arrogance blinds then what does humility allow us to see?
Thanks for sticking and remember you are all worth MORE THAN GOLD.